How to chop an onion without crying like a baby

Onions make most food more delicious. Often, onion powder will do the trick. But, there’s something about freshly chopped onions that can’t be beat. That is, assuming they’re served without tears. So how do you chop an onion without crying?

I chop an onion every time I make my buffalo turkey burgers. Every time I make lox omelets. Every time I can. And do I cry? Nope. I chop my onions with ease and without crying.

There are three steps to chopping an onion without crying:

Step 1: Cut off the ends of the onion. No explanation needed here. Just do it.

Step 2: Peel the onion. With the ends chopped off, peeling an onion is easy. Just poke a layer or two with your chef’s knife and the peel comes off in one swoop.

Step 2.5: Cut onion into quarters. This step is optional but makes for more evenly chopped onion.

Step 3: Drop it in your Vitamix.

That’s it!

Follow the simple tips on how t chop an onion in your Vitamix, and you’re done. It’s so simple, yet I somehow managed to screw it up on my first try. See the video below to see what I mean.

Vitamix onion chop

That headline sounds like a song or dance move.

Well, it basically is.

Chopping an onion in your Vitamix is like playing the bass guitar. How?

• Pulse button: Like plucking the strings. Evenly and rhythmically.
• Tamper: Like sliding up an down the frets.

Specifically, pulse your Vitamix on low speed 6-10 times. At the same time, use the tamper to push the unchopped pieces to the bottom.

If you do it right, you get perfectly chopped onions. And, they shouldn’t be covered in tears.

If, however, you put your face in the container afterwards, the no-crying part is not guaranteed.

Demonstration

Here’s my demonstration of how to chop an onion without crying. Assumption is that you do not put your face in the Vitamix container right after chopping!

Watch to the end to see me fail, big time.